" . . . and now, British soccer royalty . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1
Mattel was recently forced to issue another major toy recall. For a company that's embroiled in such controversy, Dave was a little surprised to see them attempting to capitalize on the situation. We take a look at something Dave found at the local toy store. It's the new "Dora the Lead Paint Inspector" doll.
The only toy Dave had growing up was a sharp stick.

Our friend Regis Philbin celebrates his 76th birthday tomorrow, so in honor of the occasion, we've prepared a segment called "Things That Are Older Than Regis."
We see a photo of the moon.
We see a photo of dinosaur bones.
We see a photo of China --- which is then X'd out. China, apparently, is not older than Regis.

Something catches Dave's eye in the audience. He takes a closer look. It's Sue Hum our costume designer walking up and down the aisle in the audience. Dave says, "Sue, what are you doing?"
Sue: "I'm looking for an empty seat."
Dave: "Uhh, Sue, there are no empty seats."
Sue looks at Dave and ignores him. She continues looking in the audience. She points to one guy on the aisle and says, "YOU! BEAT IT!" The guy slowly gets up, confused, and then slinks away. Sue sits in the seat. Dave: "Sue, I'd like to talk to you after the show."

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: I missed it. Something to do with lasers.

ACT 2
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS:
Here's one they didn't use:
It's documented that there are 6 million undocumented immigrants in the United States. Where are the Fun Facts we used last night? Someday it will all be clear.

ACT 3
TOP TEN: Signs You've Chosen The Wrong College #7. Popular Fraternity is "Sigma Alpha Danza"

TOM ARNOLD: "Our first guest is a funny man and a good friend of ours. We're always glad when he can stop by for a visit. Here's, Tom Arnold."
And I think that's the last thing Dave said. Tom went on the longest run-on sentence on record. Dave eventually had to say to Tom, "You know, I have things to do . . . ." or something like that. It was Dave's way of saying, "Jane, stop this crazy thing!" I found this whole thing very entertaining. . . but, yikes!

ACT 4
WILL IT FLOAT: Tonight's item: A gallon of wall paper glue --- in a plastic bucket.
Dave says it will float.
Paul agrees.
The Late Show models drop the gallon of wall paper glue into the Will It Float tank and I . . . . . SINKS!

ACT 5
"It's time for 'This Date in Weather History.'
On this date in 1999, it was sunny with a high of 84 degrees. Ah, memories. That's all for 'This Date in Weather History.' See ya back at the ranch, Sugar. We'll be right back."

ACT 6
KRISTIN GORE: The daughter of the former Vice President has written her second novel, "Sammy's House." Paul was under the misunderstanding believing the book was about the goings on at Sammy Davis' house during the days of the Rat Pack. So, what was it like having a dad who was the Vice President? Kristin was 15 years old when dad became the V.P. and admits that's exactly the wrong age to be thrust into the public view. No matter what you do you feel awkward and dorky. One day is just your private hell, and then all of a sudden she's surrounded by the Secret Service. Kristin says she wasn't one to cause much trouble but she did learn early how to ditch the them.
And what's it like to be the daughter of the creator of "An Inconvenient Truth"? She says she's been seeing that same movie for the past 30 years. She has had to tell him, "Dad, I get it. I get it already."
Would dad run for President in 2008? She says he's very happy not being a candidate. Dave completely understands and says there may be some truth in his being able to accomplish more by NOT being the President.
Her first book was a New York Times bestseller, entitled "Sammy's Hill," published in 2004. It centered around a fictional character, Sammy Joyce, a staffer working in a Senator's office whose boss being elected the V.P. "Sammy's House" continues where "Sammy's Hill" left off. There are some factual settings about the White House in the book but the story is totally fictional. One true story is how the Thanksgiving turkey is sedated before it receives its annual pardon. This was because one of the turkeys pardoned by Ronald Reagan when nuts before the photo-op. The fact of the sedated Thanksgiving turkey is included in the fictional book. "Sammy's House" - in stores now.

ACT 7
JIM MCDONALD: He performs regularly at the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach, California.
Jim talked about:
Suze Orman; Credit Cards; Weddings; Grandparents; Mom, the internet; annulment; and his married brother.
"Yes, I know my brother can't go golfing . . . . I only want to know if he wants to go."

And that was our show for Friday, August 24, 2007.



I've been reading the comic strip "F Minus" for a few months now in the New York Daily News. For some reason they bury it in their classified section. It makes me laugh at least 4 out of 5 days of the week.

Once again, this may be my last Wahoo Gazette. The MegaMillion lottery is up to $200 million. If I win, this may be the last Wahoo Gazette for quite awhile. And if I win, I'll finally be able to afford Orangetown taxes.

The other day I listed a fun fact that referred to rolling a 5 in craps as a "Little Phoebe." I then wondered, "Why 'Little Phoebe'?"
You're probably getting this from a couple hundred people, (no, I only have a few dozen readers) but here's your Phoebe explanation ...
http://www.bigempire.com/vegas/vegasana.html
Phoebe: (Craps) A roll of five. Presumably because "five" and "Phoebe" both start with f. Well, actually, "Phoebe" doesn't. They both start with the unvoiced labiodental fricative. Note that this is another feminine name for a craps roll.
So I guess Little Phoebe could just as easily been called a Little Franny.

Bob Arndt included:

Would you consider doing another write up of great jukebox songs? If so, I've got to nominate Jimmy Buffett's "A Pirate Looks at Forty". It's one of those songs (at least for me), that makes you wonder "How come they don't play this on the radio more often?" I guess that's what makes them good jukebox songs, though."

*And now, even more useless information from "The Ultimate Book of Useless Information" by Neil Botham & The Useless Information Society.
- horses race clockwise in England and counter-clockwise in the United States
- it took forever for a human to run a 4-minute mile when Britain's Roger Bannister ran it in 1954. It took the second human to run a 4-minute mile only 41 days later.
- in America, 69% of men and 57% of women drink beer.
- the oldest recipe in existence is a recipe for beer
- pepper is the top-selling spice in the world. The second is mustard.

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . oops, no it isn't.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Kenny Furnish
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER