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Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Show #2581
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


Anne Hathaway; Jim Gaffigan; and Dashboard Confessional.
PLUS: George W. Bush Starsky & ___”; a Bomb Threat at a California Seaport; and The LATE SHOW Superman Challenge

Dave has a secret he’s ready to unveil. He admits to taking a video camera with him when he screens movies for upcoming guests. He tapes the movie and then sells copies to his friends and family at exorbitant prices. It’s a nice way to make some pocket change when you have really big pockets.

LATE SHOW SUPERMAN CHALLENGE
Dave eyes Rupert’s T-shirt, Mississippi State. He asks Rupert to spell Mississippi, and the owner of the Hello Deli does it with ease. After some quick small talk, Dave instructs Rupert to run like a bunny outside to find a contestant for “Late Show Superman Challenge.” We follow Rupert outside and see him pick a tall kid way in the back. The fellow’s name is James, from North Carolina. He’s here visiting his sister here in New York City. She’s an attorney. James is an attorney as well back home in Tar Heel State. Dave informs James what we will be doing tonight. Rupert and James will be going to the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater; get strapped into a harness; and fly down the side of the theater building just like Superman. And as an added enticement, we will be playing for a Black and Decker Automatic Jar Opener. (These automatic jar openers will put husbands out of business. It’s just another device taking the place of a husband.) James accepts the Late Show Superman Challenge and he and Rupert run to the roof while we put on the rest of the show.

Back to Dave, who is suddenly interrupted by a guy at center-stage. The guy is holding a lottery ticket. He holds it up to show Dave and with joy and anger in his heart, the man bellows, “You see this? You know what this is? It’s a winning lottery ticket for 63 grand! That’s right. I’m out of this ‘djoy’-hole.” The guy looks towards Paul and give him a two-fisted middle finger and yells, “’Givl’ you!” He turns to Alan and does the same, “’Givl’ you!” And then he turns to Dave and with real gusto, screams, “Giiiiiiiiiiivl Youuuuuu!” He then exits with a delirious laugh.
Dave scratches his head and asks, “Paul, do you know who that was?”
Paul: “I’ve never seen him before in my life.”
(to decipher “givl” and “djoy”, simply look to the left on our keyboard of each letter in “givl” and “djoy.”)

Dave wonders . . . “How much did he say that lottery ticket was for? $68,000? That’s not exactly “‘givl’ you” money.” Maybe, but if you work here, it doesn’t take all that much. IT’S A JOKE! C’MON! IT’S JUST A JOKE!

There was a bomb threat at a major southern California seaport yesterday, shutting down the area for a few hours. Dave saw a report on the CNN.

Announcer: “California’s Port Huememe was closed on Monday after a threatening note was found aboard a cargo ship. Following a thorough police investigation, Governor Schwarzenegger is pleased to announce the harbor has re-opened . . . and normal ship activity has resumed.”
(see video of Arnold Schwarzenegger on a ship dancing and carousing with some lovely Brazilian ladies.)
“A message from your governor --- 58 and sexy.”
It’s now time for “GEORGE W. BUSH STARSKY AND _________”. Huh? I’m not sure what this is. Music and a graphic appears, “George W. Bush Starsky and _____”? Cut to the President, who says, “Uhh, Hutch.”
Oddly entertaining, though I found it more the former than the latter.

Back to the roof with Rupert and James. The harness crew is working on James to make sure he is securely secure. We are doing this in honor of the big Superman Returns movie that’s opening on Wednesday. OK, I think we’re ready. James is set, the rigging boys are set. James approaches the ledge, nearly 100 feet up from the pavement below. We cut to a shot from the ground up. We see James’ head peeking over the roof . . . and Jeff begins to fly down the side of the building. But something is terribly wrong! The harness and the cables broke off and James if free-falling. Oh, poor James! James falls with a thud. Relax, folks, it wasn’t really James at all. It was a dummy dressed like James. Ha ha! Did we get you? Dave buries his head and with a resigned laugh says, “There is so much wrong with that.” I guess our special effects didn’t quite live up to Dave’s expectations. We then see James getting up off the sidewalk. Doesn’t quite help. It was too obvious a fake. Dave then realizes something more scary . . . “Oh, my God, he’s a lawyer . . . and his sister is a lawyer.”

ANNE HATHAWAY: The last time she was here, Anne was talking about college. How’s that going? Well, she imagines college is just fine, but she hasn’t been going all that much. She’s in her 6th year of her 2nd year. She’s hoping to get credit for “life experience.” Dave mentions our policy, “You know you can get a credit for just appearing on our show.” Anne was also in Brokeback Mountain, playing the wife of Jake Gyllenhaal. It was shot in Calgary, Canada and the scenery was breathtaking. Calgary is on my list of places to visit. I hope to one day take the train across Canada. That’s on my list, too.
How was it working with Meryl Streep? Anne says it was very intimidating. When they first met, Meryl said to Anne, “I’m so thrilled you’re dong this part and that we’re working together . . .and that’s the last nice thing I’m going to say to you.”
Has Anne ever worked with a boss as evil as the Meryl Streep character? She hasn’t, but her friend has. Her friends worked as an assistant to a big time movie star. One day the assistant had to tell the star some bad news. The star got so mad that he turned and belted the assistant right in the face. The next day, the movie star bought the guy a Thunderbird. Dave tried to get the identity of the movie star but Anne wouldn’t divulge.
Anne is in The Devil Wears Prada which opens on Friday. I’m looking forward to seeing this one.
I told my daughter Danielle that we were going to have Anne Hathaway on the show. Did she know who that is? Danielle says she was in The Princess Diaries. And then I said we had on Meryl Streep earlier in the week. She didn’t know who that was. I told her she was in that movie that was about all those books she read. Danielle says, "Unfortunate Events.” Right. And Meryl Streep was the lady that lived in the old house over the river who had very good grammar. Danielle says without a beat, “Oh, Aunt Josephine. Yeah, I know who she is.”

JIM GAFFIGAN: I find Jim Gaffigan very funny. At one time I had Wahoo readers visit his website just to see his visitor-number-count jump. This was done back in November of 2003 . . . . oy vey, was that really 2-and-a-half years ago? Let’s see what Jim’s website count is up to now. Hey, he’s changed his website in the past 2 years. It’s bigger and better. He even has a spot on Myspace that I found enjoyable.
http://www.myspace.com/jimgaffigan
His myspace count is approaching 44,000.
I wish I was able to watch his segment more closely but I was busy helping to get the rest of the show in order. Things always change on the fly. I did hear Mr. Gaffigan talk about concentrating on gaining weight and driving in Indiana.
Jim is currently doing a lot of commercials, not for the money, but for the artistic expression. Plus, because he really really loves the product.
His two kids exhaust him. It’s very tiring watching his wife do all that work.
He’s just back from Hawaii --- “You can probably tell.” And what better way to make friends than to bring two kids under the ago of 2 on a ten-hour plane ride? He finds it a bit humiliating having to put sunblock on the top of his noggin. I know what he means. Each year it’s “more block, less mousse.”
Jim is in the new film, now playing in selected cities, entitled, The Great New Wonderful. I’ve read a review of the film and I think I have this at the top of my list of movies to see this summer. The clip of Jim with Tony Shalhoub only cemented my desire.
Oh, I just thought of another line I remember Jim telling Dave. He’s often stopped by people thinking he’s Philip Seymour Hoffman. And he’s also often asked by those who sort of recognize him, “Are you a famous comedian?” To which he’ll respond, “Apparently not.”
The Great New Wonderful – look for it at a theater near you . . . that is, once your city has been selected.

ACT 4: Let’s try the dummy drop one more time. This time, no pushing. Just let gravity do the work.
Tommy O’Brien releases the dummy and it gets stuck on the ledge. Oh, boy, it looks like Dave is going to have a meeting with the gravity after the show! With a nudge from Tommy, the dummy falls the rest of the way. The impact with the sidewalk was humorous as the dummy bounced back up into a seating position for a second.

ACT 5: It’s a replay of the most recent falling of the dummy . . . in reverse. Coming back from commercial before music, we see Harold Larkin and Tommy O’Brien lightly shoving the dummy over the roof in the ACT 4. The dummy got stuck. Harold says nothing; just slowly looks down at the ground. Dave howls at the total lack of morale shown by the staff. It appears to be a lost cause. But fight we must.

DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL: From their new CD, “Dusk and Summer,” Dashboard Confessional performed “Don’t Wait.”

And that was our show for Tuesday June 27, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

I’m very afraid today, very afraid. In one of the most expensive cities in the world to live, the NYPD just hired 1,213 people who agreed to be a police officer for $12 bucks an hour. Did you see the new Barbara Walters morning show, “The Limited View”? There were only 3 at the desk this morning. No more Star Jones.
From the May 9th Wahoo Gazette:

“Big talk about ‘The View’ these days. Word is that Star Jones is on the way out. One rumor suggests that Oprah’s pal Gayle King may take the place of Star. Could be. My surprise pick: Shon Gables.”
It should be interesting to see how this all shakes out.

Oh, that Rush Limbaugh. He sure pulled a boner this time.

And now, it’s another episode of “LATE NIGHT THE DAY THEY WERE BORN.”
Anne Hathaway was born on November 12, 1982. So what happened on LATE NIGHT the day Anne Hathaway was born?
Dang it! It was a Friday and back then there were no LATE NIGHTs on Fridays. But on Thursday the 11th, show #144, LATE NIGHT had Viewer Mail with Steve Jordan; Merv Griffin, a Brooke Shields walk-on, Steve O’Donnell with a Bob Hope Sandwich piece; and Captain Beef Heart. This show was so good it was repeated on August 8, 1985 and May 14, 1992. At least that’s what it says in someone’s log on the staff.

Thank you, James of Minneapolis for clearing this up. It now makes sense. James writes: “I think the father and son Google image was from a few days earlier, for Father's Day.” I bet you are right, James. I mentioned that Google did not have anything for the first day of summer, Wednesday June 21st. I received some e-mail claiming they did have something for summer; a dad and his boy fishing. I couldn’t figure out how I could have missed this since I Google many times each day. But of course, the dad and son image must have been for Father’s Day, a Sunday. I don’t Google on Sunday. That’s why I missed it. Ahhh, I feel so much better now.

Kathy Paulsen of Ashland High School is also a high school graduate of 1976. Everything that year was red white and blue. She writes:

“Remember the fire hydrants dressed up as minutemen?”
Yes, I do, Kathy. In 1976, anything that didn’t move was painted red white and blue. Before I got to college at SUNY Cortland, the school painted a work of art entitled “The Yellow Canary” red white and blue. The art department rightfully was livid. They soon re-painted it back to yellow.

This is one of the saddest things I have ever read in a newspaper.
From Tuesday’s USA Today:

“Not it!” More schools ban games at recess
By Emily Bazar, USA TODAY

Some traditional childhood games are disappearing from school playgrounds because educators say they're dangerous. Elementary schools in Cheyenne, Wyo., and Spokane, Wash., banned tag at recess this year. Others, including a suburban Charleston, S.C., school, dumped contact sports such as soccer and touch football.
In other cities, including Wichita; San Jose, Calif.; Beaverton, Ore.; and Rancho Santa Fe., Calif., schools took similar actions earlier.
The bans were passed in the name of safety, but some children's health advocates say limiting exercise and free play can inhibit a child's development.
Groups such as the National School Boards Association don't keep statistics on school games.
But several experts, including Donna Thompson of the National Program for Playground Safety, verify the trend. Dodge ball has been out at some schools for years, but banning games such as tag and soccer is a newer development.
"It's happening more," Thompson says. Educators worry about "kids running into one another" and getting hurt, she says. In January, Freedom Elementary School in Cheyenne prohibited tag at recess because it "progresses easily into slapping and hitting and pushing instead of just touching," Principal Cindy Farwell says.
Contact sports were banned from recess at Charles Pinckney Elementary early this year, says Charleston County schools spokeswoman Mary Girault, because children suffered broken arms and dislocated fingers playing touch football and soccer. Some schools that ban games at recess allow children to play them in gym class under supervision.
Critics of the bans say playing freely helps kids learn to negotiate rules and resolve disputes.
"They learn to change and to problem-solve," says Rhonda Clements, an education professor at Manhattanville College. Joe Frost, emeritus professor of early childhood education at the University of Texas-Austin, sees playground restrictions as harmful.
"You're taking away the physical development of the children," he says. "Having time for play is essential for children to keep their weight under control."

End of story. No more playing tag at school. It’s too dangerous. Yes, that’s my generation at work making these rules. So enlightened are we!
We are so afraid of receiving the slightest harm or inconvenience that we cannot even walk a block without taking along a water bottle. What a bunch of hyped-up, nervous ninnies we’ve all become. And if this is what we are teaching our kids, what will our kids be teaching their kids?
A dislocated finger is a small price to pay for the freedom to play. Hey, parents! Hey, adults! Would you please stay out of the way! It’s not your turn on the playground anymore. You’re ruining everything!

The Knicks are doing the right thing. If they can’t be entertaining by being good, they’ll be entertaining by being pathetic. This year should be lots of fun. We have a GM who doubles as a coach whose job is on the line. Hoo boy, talk about an environment ripe for bad trades to make today just a little better at a high cost to tomorrow. General Managers will sacrifice the team’s future in hopes for their own contract extension. No GM of a pro sports team should ever be allowed to GM in their last year of their contract or who are “on notice.”




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