We visit Rupert and Dave guesses the Slurpee machine has tripled the Hello Deli’s business. It’s practically a machine to print money. I learned something new in that the flavors from the Slurpee machine are now Cherry and Lemon-ade. The Lemon-Lime has been put away. Cherry remains the better seller. Dave asks Rupert how he makes a Slurpee? Rupert shows off the mix purchased from the vendor. “It looks like colored water” Dave exclaims. Rupert concedes, That’s pretty much all it is.” But how do you get the Slurp? Rupert says that probably comes from the syrup, mixed at a 5 to 1 ratio with the colored water. Dave suggests a 4 to 1 ratio, because extra flavor means extra money. Rupert’s head is working fast as his smile slowly disappears. “But that will cut into my margin” he laments.

What does Dave have for Rupert today? It’s the first day of summer so why doesn’t Rupert go out to Broadway and hand out Slurpees to the motorists. Rupert panics, “To the motorists?” That’s right, to the motorists on Broadway. As always, Dave advises to practice safety first. We do it here every day at the LATE SHOW. With that, Dave orders our building engineer George Clarke to put away the Late Show bear. We see George go above and beyond his duties as he locks away the bear behind a big iron sliding door.

While Rupert is preparing his serving, we have a show to put on.

Much to Dave’s surprise, Al Jazeera broke in to their regular programming to report the Michael Jackson verdict last week. We have a clip. We see footage of Michael Jackson in court with the announcer reporting the results. He finishes with “This has been Al Jazeera’s coverage of the Michael Jackson verdict. We not return you to ‘Afghan Idol.’” We see a guy strumming a banjo-like guitar. Paul says it is an Oud. Not sure if it is a Gibson or a Fender Oud.

And this week marks the beginning of Wimbledon. A yearly complaint from Dave is the number of people who pronounce it “Wimbleton” with a ‘t.’ It’s Wimbldon, with a ‘D.’ “But God bless the dumb people,” Dave reflects.

Tonight we have the Wimbledon Highlight of the Night. We see in slow motion the game play of beauty Maria Sharapova. Hmmmm, nice forehand. This teen is the defending Wimbledon champ. Dave considered using a different Wimbledon Highlight but thought it too . . . too . . . he thought it was “too much highlight.” But since we are on late in the night, Dave decides to show the highlight he rejected.

We see Maria Sharapova in a slow run to the net. Hmmm, nice approach.

Back to Rupert’s. Rupert is holding a tray of 10 Slurpees; 5 Cherry, 5 Lemon-ade. Rupert stops the first car and the driver asks, “How much is that?” When told it’s free, the driver quickly says, “I’ll take that one.” A motorcycle guy zooms by. ‘A demon’ is how Dave describes him. A guy on a bike rides by and is stopped by Rupert, though I think the girls had something to do with it. The bicycle rider stops and enjoys a free Slurpee. Dave just sits back and takes in the vision of Rupert, the girls, and the guy sitting on his bicycle seat. Dave sizes up the scene and says “Something is not right but I’m not sure what it is.”

We go to commercial and when we return, Rupert is still giving out the Slurpees. During the break, he restocked his tray of Slurpees.

How many Slurpees has Rupert sold since he got the machine? “About 1,000.” And how much do the Slurpees usually cost? Rupert says, “$2.95, plus tax!” I laugh at how Rupert is always sure to throw in the ‘plus tax,’ even when I’m asking him before the show, pretending I don’t know. I just do it to hear the ‘plus tax.’

Dave suggests, “Rupert, today, a price mark down on your Slurpees, only a buck!” Rupert responds on the low end of the enthusiasm meter, “You’re kidding. . . “ A tear forms in the corner of Rupert’s eye.

He stops another car. The woman’s first question is, “How many calories is it?”

Next comes a small bus. Rupert asks “Would you like a complimentary Slurp . . .” but before Rupert can continue, the bus driver’s hand shoots out on the word “complimentary.” Obviously, he likes the price of “complimentary.”

A cabbie soon pulls up. His arm is already extended for a Slurpee. No need for a sales pitch from Rupert.

Alan Kalter asked if he could share a few words on something he’s quite excited about.

“Thanks, D.L. Hard to believe it’s been a year already, but it’s time once again to sign up for ‘Camp Late Show.’ At ‘Camp Late Show’ we offer a fun-filled package featuring baseball, horseback riding, and the annual July 4th fireworks display. But we never forget the true purpose of ‘Camp Late Show;’ an exciting and intensive 8-week indoctrination into the teachings of Kim Jong Il. So send in your application today. Oh, and moms, include a photo of yourselves. With the brats out of the house, if you’re hot . . . Big Red’ll come over and give you a ride on his log flume. Back to you, DL.”

LINDSAY LOHAN: She stars in the new film, Herbie: Fully Loaded. Dang it, I can’t find my notes on the segment. I’ll have to go from memory.

Lindsay always played a lot of sports; her favorites being lacrosse, soccer, and basketball. For exercise now she likes to walk. Walk?! Walking as exercise is reserved for people like me on the verge of AARP, not teenagers! Dave suggests she try the trampoline. Dave read where trampoline jumping is good for the cells. That’s good, says Lindsay, since a sibling has a trampoline which she uses quite a bit.

Lindsay has a birthday coming up. She’s going to turn 19. I turned 19 during the Carter administration.

Has Lindsay lost weight? She says she was sick and lost some weight. The newspapers had a field day on that. She says she hit puberty at 17 and that was less than two years ago. She admits it’s tough growing up in front of the public. Ewww. I can’t imagine my growth years being captured by photographers and video hounds. She then tells a story of being chased by photographers. I was pleased to hear Dave call them photographers and not “paparazzi.” Calling those pests with cameras “paparazzi” makes them sound special and artsy rather than the gnats that they are.

We see a clip from the Herbie: Fully Loaded. Ooops. There was a problem in the Control Room as we saw old black and white footage of a Model T going over a jump. Clip provided by Shecky. (Please, no e-mails if it wasn’t actually a Model T) We then see the actual clip. “Herbie: Fully Loaded” – in theaters right now as you read this.

I asked someone from the talent department to get me a Lindsay Lohan autograph for my girls. I hate asking. I’m not much the fan of autographs but when I was showing off to my girls the other day that Lindsay Lohan was going to be on the show, they pleaded with me for an autograph. I shyly asked the talent department, apologizing along the way. And then this morning, I GOT THE AUTOGRAPH! I was told Lindsay was very nice about the whole thing, a real sweetheart. She was all too happy to sign. Yea, Lindsay. I’m your biggest fan!

ACT 5: It’s more Rupert, the girls, and Slurpees. “Would you like a complimentary Slushee?” It seems most New Yorkers would.

CHRISTOPHER ‘MAD DOG’ RUSSO: He’s the “Mad Dog” in the sports talk radio show, Mike and the Mad Dog, heard on WFAN here in the New York area. They can also be seen on the YES television network.

This guy is nuts! And entertaining! Chris has a 4th child on the way, which deserves a big congratulations to him and his wife. There are not too many 4-children families anymore, not like in the old days.

So what’s new in sports? Chris says he saw Dave at the Indianapolis 500 on the ABC TV; unshaven stubble, short sleeves, ball cap. He exclaims, “That is what I want to see!!!” I think somebody should have told Chris to relax. He’s already been booked.

Baseball? Home runs are way down. Barry Bonds is out with knee problems. The decrease in homers is likely due to the cleaning up of the steroid problems. Has it affected attendance? No. It’s pretty much the same as last year. Chris says the best thing going on this year is the troubles and struggles the Yankees are having. All that money and they’re just a few games over 500. Chris predicted early in the season that the Yankees would not make the playoffs this year. I’m beginning to think he may be right.

Joe Torre – is his job safe? It is. He just signed a 3-year contract for big money so he’s not going anywhere. Besides, he’s been to the playoffs for 10 years in a row.

Phil Jackson – Dave doesn’t like his return to the L.A. Lakes. Chris loves it. Jackson is used to coaching the best teams in the league. Now all the Lakers have is Kobe and nothing else. It’ll be a real test to see what Phil can do. NBA FINALS - it starts so late that nobody can stay up. Chris has kids. He’s tired by 10:00. San Antonio and Detroit are small markets, according to Chris. Nobody seems to care. How is the health of the NBA? “Bad.” But not as bad as the NHL? I think all you can say about the NHL is “uggghhhh.” And you can quote me.

What’s new at Wimbledon? Or is it Wimbleton. Dave says “Wimbledon.” Chris emphatically says “Wimbleton.” They battle back and forth.

And then Dave asks, “By the way, what does Mike really bring to the show?” Dave then impersonates Chris’ sidekick, Mike Francesca, from the Mike and the Mad Dog Show sports talk radio show. Christopher finally quieted down for a moment as he thoroughly enjoyed the mock.

To close the show, Dave enjoys a lemon-ade Slurpee. He enjoys the Slurp, but not the size of the serving, describing it as a “thimble full of Slurpee.”

And that was our show for Tuesday June 21, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Well, after today, the days start getting shorter.

My girls finish up school this week. They have 4 half-days. And what will be accomplished in these 4 half-days? My guess is the school schedule will reach its minimum requirement for the number of school days for 2004-2005.

Earlier in the day, the big discussion was how do we pronounce Lindsay’s last name? Is it LO-HAN or Lowen? I always thought it was LO-HAN but I’ve been hearing a lot of ‘Lowen’ recently. I asked my 9-year-old girls and they said, “It’s Lowen.” They heard her say it that way on the Nickelodeon. Other parents on the staff backed up this claim. The show was receiving conflicting reports from our outside sources. I clicked on the Herbie: Fully Loaded trailer and they pronounced her name as “lowen.” And of course, when we asked Lindsay when she arrived, she said it was “lowen.” We decided to go with Lowen.

Looking at Lindsey’s film list, I have probably seen more of her movies than any other actor in the past 10 years. Her filmography:
Herbie: Fully Loaded – haven’t seen it yet.
Mean Girls - seen it
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen – seen it
Freaky Friday – seen it
The Parent Trap – seen it

Let’s take a look at Jack Nicholson’s last five movies:
Something’s Gotta Give – nope
Anger Management – nope
About Schmidt – nope
The Pledge – nope
As Good As It Gets – seen it.

Sorry, Jack, but Lindsay is what we kids go for these days.

I saw the original Herbie the Love Bug years ago at the Drive-In with mom and dad and the family. I checked my source and found that “Herbie: Fully Loaded” is playing at the Drive-in this week. I think we’ll be making the trip. And I hope my girls take their children to the Drive-In for the next Herbie. The New York Daily News gives it 3 stars!

Yesterday one of the verbal gaffs I included was the use of “take it for granite” instead of “take it for granted.” I explained how I sometimes use “take it for granite” in tribute to some bad old joke I once heard.

Wahoo reader Albert Wald of Newport, Kentucky asked if I would share that joke.

Sadly, I don’t remember it exactly so I Googled “take it for granite” and came upon a site that features an unofficial script of the Disney Jungle Cruise Narration. It includes some of the worst and worn jokes around. I’ll be spreading some of these around in future Wahoos. Believe me, they are bad. And that’s exactly the reason I’ll be including them.

Anyway, the bad joke that included the line “take it for granite” went something like this:

“See that rock right there, it's actually made of limestone, but many just take it for granite.”

The Disney Jungle Cruise Narration

“We have made this list in an effort to preserve the many hundreds of witty jokes that have been ‘spieled’ on Disney's Jungle Cruise for the last 45 years since Disneyland opened. Many of the very best lines are lost over time as even the official Disney scripts change every few years. We hope that this will be a permanent repository for some of the best (and worst) humor ever delivered in the ‘tropical rivers of the world’. This is not an official script.”

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please. Would the party that lost the roll of 50 $20.00 bills, wrapped in a red rubber band, please report to the turnstile ... we have good news for you. We found your rubber band.

Your attention, please. We do not allow cutting in line here at the world-famous Jungle Cruise. Anyone caught with a pair of scissors will be asked to leave.

Some of our scouts here at the world-famous Jungle Cruise claim they have spotted tigers in the waiting area the last couple of days. But we know that's ridiculous. After all, tigers are striped, not spotted.

We have some pretty smart animals back in the jungle. Take monkeys, for example. You ask them to name one of their relatives, and they go ape. And snakes, they're pretty clever too. Ask them what the 19th letter of the alphabet is and they'll say S-S-S-S-S. Tigers are known for their intelligence, but you can't trust them. Yeah, you never know when they might be a lyin' (lion). But I think rhinoceroses are by far the smartest animals in the jungle. Just last week, I asked what four minus four is, and he said nothing.

It’s time now for another installment of
LATE NIGHT The Day They Were Born!
Lindsay Lohan was born July 2, 1986. So what happened on LATE NIGHT the Day Lindsay Lohan was born?
LATE NIGHT was in repeats.

From the Donz:
LNwDL on July 2, 1986: It was a repeat of the August 28, 1985 show.
LNwDL on August 28, 1985: Dave announces the births of guitarist Sid McGinnis's daughter Katherine Pearl and writer Gerard Mulligan's son Kevin. Guests: Eddie Murphy (to promote his hosting MTV Music Awards), Dick Cavett (to promote his talk show on the USA Network) and Rubén Blades (to perform "The Hit").
And that’s what happened on Late Night the Day They Were Born.

Hey! Nice article on our friend Rupert Jee in today’s Gothamist. Check it out at:
http://www.gothamist.com

THIS LATE SHOW NUMBER DATE IN HISTORY
Today’s LATE SHOW number: 2385. So what happened on February 3, 1985?
"Harrigan 'n Hart" closes at Longacre Theater New York City after 5 performances.
And that’s what happened on This Show Number in History.

THIS DATE IN NHL HOCKEY HISTORY
JUNE 21, 1995: The Quebec Nordiques move and become the Colorado Avalanche.