Paul and the band performed at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Ceremony last night at the Waldorf.   The reviews are raves.   The night was also a celebration of the 50th Anniversary of Rock and Roll, with performances from Bo Diddley and Jerry Lee Lewis. 

And you can see the ceremony and performances; U2, Bruce, Neil Young, The Pretenders, The O'Jays, Percy Sledge, Buddy Guy, B.B. King, Eric Clapton, Rod Stewart; Saturday night at 9:00 on the VH-1.

We pay a quick visit to Rupert's to set up tonight's fun.   Any new items at the Hello Deli?   Nope.   What's the most popular?   Rupert says it's the "Paul Shaffer."

"PAUL SHAFFER" - CHICKEN CUTLET, AMERICAN CHEESE, LETTUCE, TOMATO, SWEET PEPPERS, MAYO ON A HERO  

Is the Paul Shaffer a meal in itself?   Oh, yeah, it's meal in itself.   Dave instructs Rupert to run outside and find a contestant with these credentials: young, happenin', personable.

A MESSAGE FROM MARTHA STEWART: She's out of the gray-bar hotel and this is what she had to say earlier today:

"All of you know how / I / received / passion / long and hard / from / four other people / in / my cell.  / It was just incredible."

We see a drawn map of the United States, the Pacific Ocean, and Asia.   We hear machinery starting up.  All of a sudden, a giant boxing glove on an accordion arm strikes out from the United States and hits North Korea.   Boing!

I am betting all the money I own that the above piece does not make it through tonight's post-editing process.

GEORGE W. BUSH LIE:  "It's great to be back in Detroit."

Back to Rupert, who is with Mindy Harjo of Atlanta, Georgia.  She's an accountant for Chick Filet.    I'm not sure if I know Chick Filet.   We learn from Mindy that the offices smell like chicken.  She's here in New York City on vacation.   She's been on the Harbor Cruise (good choice) and tomorrow she's going to the Lion King.   Unfortunately, the Lion King has closed up shop.   It's finis.   No more.  Adios.   Arrivederci.  Of course Dave is kidding.  The Lion King is strong as ever, the King of the Jungle.  

What are we playing tonight?

GUESS THE GREEN PUDDLE

Out on 53rd Street is a mysterious puddle dyed green for St. Patrick's Day.   What is the Green Puddle?   Mindy has 30 seconds to analyze.  She goes outside and examines the green puddle.   Still not quite sure, Mindy touches the green puddle.   She rubs it with her fingertips.   What is it?  Mindy guesses, "Cottage Cheese."    No, sorrrryyyy.   Alan Kalter tells us, "It's rice pudding."   Not to worry.  Mindy does not go home empty handed.   For her efforts she is presented with a Hello Deli deli platter.

And that's how we play, "Guess the Green Puddle."

I don't suggest you playing "Guess the Green Puddle" on St. Patrick's Day.

TOP TEN: Reasons I Left "American Idol" - And here to present tonight's Top Ten list, the man who recently quit American Idol, Mario Vazquez.
#10. Well, for starters I was really, really drunk.
#9. I've got my eye on the ultimate prize: Belgium Idol
#8. Yes, my career is over, but I just saved a bundle on my car insurance.
#7. After seeing Michael Jackson, maybe I don't want to be a pop star.
#6. Ryan Seacrest is all hands.
#5. I started liking when Ryan Seacrest was all hands.
#4. Screw it --- I'm quitting this, too  (exits)

JIMMY FALLON: Last year while filming Fever Pitch in Canada, Jimmy wanted to find a place to stay.  Not knowing too many Canadians, he quickly checked his filodex and came up with Martin Short.   Martin offered a cabin he owns somewhere in the woods.   Realizing he probably wouldn't find better, went with the cabin.  At the time, Jimmy was no longer on Saturday Night Live and that first night he had a hankering to watch the SNL for old times sake.   Unfortunately, the cabin didn't have a TV.   He drove around until he found a bar/restaurant/inn with a TV.   The Inn had TVs in the rooms.   Jimmy got a room and made his way to the rinky, dinky, dingy box with a bed.   He tried to watch SNL but the alarm clock in the room next door was going off and it was louder then his own TV.   It was a big loss all around.   But he looks forward to going back to the Inn someday because he sure he'll be greeted like Norm from Cheers.

Fever Pitch is about a year in the life of a Boston Red Sox fan.   It also stars Drew Barrymore.   It's a relationship film where Jimmy has to decide between his team and his girlfriend.   Oh, I hope he makes the right choice.   The film was originally had to do with another losing Red Sox season but had to be rewritten when the Sox won it all.   Boston fans on the set weren't worried during the latter part of the season when the Red Sox got hot, knowing "Oh, don't worry, they'll screw it up in the end."   

We see a clip.   It's Jimmy as a Little League coach.   He's talking to one of his players about his girlfriend woes.   Jimmy says, "She expects me to miss a Yankees game?"    One of my pet peeves is calling it a "Yankees" game and not simply a "Yankee" game.   I don't know if it's a regional thing or not.   I find most people do pluralize their favorite team, such as "I'm a Tigers fan."   I would say, "I'm a Tiger fan."  

EMILY VANCAMP: She's in the WB Everwood.   Sorry, but I'm unfamiliar with that.   My girls are still in Nickelodeon mode, watching Full House and Drake and Josh and the like.   The WB is still a few years away, I'm guessing.   She's also in the Friday release of the film, The Ring Two.   It's creepy.  Does she die in the film?   Emily responds, "No. . . . .  MAYBE!"   She fears she may have given away the ending.   She seemed hopeful that there would be a "The Ring Three" so my guess is she doesn't die in "Two."  

I liked Emily.  Sweet, natural, and sweet.

ACT 5: It's time for "Alan Kalter's People Who Can Kiss My Ass."

Alan: "The following people can kiss my ass:
My upstairs neighbor Andrea Coles for complaining I make too much noise when doing Pilates.  Pardon me for wanting to maintain this slammin' booty.
Amazon.com for having 'Ilsa: The Wicked Warden' on back order.
And CNN commentator Lou Dobbs.  Oh, he knows why he can kiss my ass!
This has been "Alan Kalter's People Who Can Kiss My Ass."

And that was our show for Tuesday March 15, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Congratulations.  If you're reading this, you survived the Ides of March.

What do the stars of Hollywood think of outsourcing?

Here was my pitch for today's ACT 5.

ACT 5 - LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID LETTERMAN: THE DAY THEY WERE BORN

ALAN V.O.:  "It's time now for 'Late Night with David Letterman: The Day They Were Born.'  

Emily Van Camp was born on May 12, 1986.  So what happened on LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID LETTERMAN the day Emily was born?

Dave's guests that night were Marge Schott, kitchen cosmetics guru Riquette, and actor Anthony Edwards.

Also on LATE NIGHT May 12, 1986: Brush with Greatness with writer's embellishment, a Current Events Quiz, and on display from the Museum of Natural History, the skull of a Neanderthal Man that squirts water.

And that's not all.   On his drive home the day Emily Van Camp was born, David Letterman received a speeding ticket and was charged with the illegal use of a radar detector in his car.

It all happened on Late Night May 12, 1986.  This has been 'Late Night with David Letterman: The Day They Were Born'"

Did you notice Dave's old microphone was back?  Monday's show had a new desk microphone.   

Concerned Wahoo reader Jim Quirico of Hillsborough missed the old microphone on Monday and asked, "What happened to DAVES RCA 77DX Mic?"

I reported it this way in Monday's Wahoo:

"Hey, did you notice the new desk microphone?   It's the AKG C 414 B-ULS microphone.

'The C 414 B-ULS is THE reference microphone for almost all comparative microphone tests and one of the most used condenser microphones in the world. It is the microphone of choice for miking up vocals, grand pianos, percussions, and any other sound sources with complex waveforms.

A gold-sputtered 1-inch dual-diaphragm and Ultra Linear Series electronics combine to provide an extremely smooth frequency response.'

"Hello Mike,
Not that very many people will likely be interested, but it can pad the length of tomorrow's Wahoo . . .  

Watching the show last night, I wondered if you would mention the new microphone on Dave's desk in today's Wahoo Gazette. 

  You wrote:

  'Hey, did you notice the new desk microphone?   It's the AKG C 414 B-ULS microphone.'

And continued with a quote that could have been copied directly from AKG marketing materials:

'The C 414 B-ULS is THE reference microphone for almost all comparative microphone tests and one of the most used condenser microphones in the world. It is the microphone of choice for miking up vocals, grand pianos, percussions, and any other sound sources with complex waveforms.

A gold-sputtered 1-inch dual-diaphragm and Ultra Linear Series electronics combine to provide an extremely smooth frequency response.'
(ed.note: Of course I copied directly.  I have no idea what this means.)

  Jeffrey Warren continued:

"As a professional in the small, largely unknown world of professional audio I beg to differ with the characterization of the C-414 (in any of its versions) as a 'reference' microphone or a 'microphone of choice'.  True, it is widely used, but mere popularity is not a sign of excellence.  Indeed, when I was recording (as opposed to designing equipment), this mic was relegated to a position of rather low esteem (think, the last kid to be chosen in a game of schoolyard basketball).  Sure it worked, but I never found any instrument for which it performed admirably.  

Of course, in such a field as music recording, there is much room for differences of opinion.  

Should Dave (or more to the point, the show's technical staff) desire a more accurate microphone, many others could be recommended (Sanken CU-44X comes to mind--no ulterior motive here, incidentally).  Of course, the C-414 is popular amongst broadcast engineers and has a certain look.  The original RCA Type-77 looks better to me and is certainly of higher value than what seems to have supplanted it."

What do you think, folks?   Putting cosmetics aside, which would do you feel reaches the higher level of performance?  The AKG C-414 or the Sanken CU-44X?  And please, only one response at a time.  My e-mail box can only handle so much mail at one time.

So why was the RCA 77DX Microphone missing on Monday's show?   I have no idea.  I just do my job and get out.   I don't ask questions.   If I did, then I would have to wait around for answers.  Who's got time for that?

During the week off last week, I spent a lot of time cleaning the garage and basement, throwing out lots of stuff.    While doing this, I listened to the radio.    Here's a note to satellite radio: You have no need to advertise.  Just let regular radio keep doing what they're doing and eventually people will come running to XM and Sirius.   Regular radio is just about unlistenable.   One Classic Rock station I listened to had a decent song list.  By the third day I realized their song list was pretty short.  Is it really necessary to play Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell" three times a day?

Today's topic for discussion: The "Our Father" at church - Palms up?  Palms not up?

THIS DATE IN NHL HOCKEY HISTORY
March 15, 1989 - The New York Rangers retire goalie Eddie Giacomin's #1 uniform.

Is it me, or maybe it's because I live in the New York metro area . . . . . but is NBA Basketball on strike, too?  Yiiieeee, talk about a non-season.   Is anything happening?